Kamen Rider Kuuga Ep 11 Recap – You make me… Promises Promises…

Thank you all for coming back for yet another Kamen Rider Kuuga recap!

So, we’ve been having some pretty exciting episode openings lately, will this weeks episode continue that trend?

That’s an elementary school teacher, Kanzaki, inspecting dried up flowerbeds. So… no. Apparently it is time to dial it back for some complaining about the young people today. Kanzaki and the students gym teacher lament how fickle children are, since they begged for the flowerbeds and then just let all the flowers die because kids are awful.

With last weeks epic child book fight I kind of feel like there’s a little recurring theme going on here… but I’m not sure how ‘Children Are Terrible’ fits in with the general mood of Kuuga.

After the opening credits we return to the Pore Pore cafe where we see Godai actually doing work for once. He even asks Manager to take it easy as he’s going to finish all the cooking himself. Godai does this by pupeteering with an oven mitt though, and I’m half worried that Manager thinks the glove is actually alive from the way he’s nervously looking at it.

It turns out though that the only reason Godai is working hard is because he’s going to be cutting work tomorrow, as he has a very important meeting to get to. Considering Godai’s important meetings in the past revolved around things like juggling and locking himself out of places, I remain dubious of this claim.

We next find a truck driver jamming out to some generic 80’s rock on his delivery route until he comes across the human form of the Rhino Grongi standing just straight in the middle of the road. He slams his brakes to avoid hitting him, and proceeds to give the large angrily grunting man a piece of his mind.

I know the Rhino Grongi hates trucks, that has been established before and is reinforced here as he just gets angrier and angrier at the idling engine sounds, but dude. You are standing in the middle of the road, if you don’t like trucks there are tons of places you can go to not be around trucks. I kind of feel like the Rhino Grongi is his own worst enemy here.

The Rhino proceeds to morph into his Kaijin form through the magic of really bad film transformation special effects. And I mean they put it right front and center and do the blending of the footage really slowly so you are just forced to acknowledge how terrible a CG effect that was.

The Rhino then proceeds to catch the driver before he can run away, and my first thought is… why is the driver running away? Seriously, you are currently sitting in a truck! Drive it away! Or run it into the monster at least, geez.

But no, he just gets caught and impaled on the Rhino’s horn while he screams in pain. Dying sad and alone on the middle of the road at night.

And to continue on from the mood whiplash theme from last week, we jump straight from a man dying of a gruesome impalement to Kanzaki Sensei slacking off in his spring cleaning by reading through old yearbooks with his wife.

Kanzaki’s wife berates him for wasting his time, and it is pretty clear he is just doing this to put off doing the actual work which is something I can sympathize with. While sorting through the stacks of books he comes across an odd one he doesn’t quite remember, and in it he finds a somewhat distressing scribbling.

I am pretty sure kid Godai is drawing himself as crying in that little sketch and I have no idea why. The notes around the page say that Kanzaki’s words had moved him and that he will never forget the promise he made with Kanzaki. He also asks that Kanzaki meet him at their school classroom on a very specific date… a date that just happens to be exactly today! Of all the luck! Or narrative convenience! Take your pick.

Also, seriously, Kanzaki remembers absolutely none of this stuff, and this is clearly the thing Godai was super hyped for. Kanzaki you spent the episode earlier whining about how kids are fickle but maybe you are just a crappy teacher, did you think of that? Considering you don’t remember a promise you made with a student that apparently changed his life?

Godai slips out from work (naturally) and on the way passes by that girl we saw calling Manager last week, and in a bizarre twist (for Kuuga) we learn immediately that her name is Nana. She is the niece of Manager and after having shared literally no words with Godai she has immediately fallen in love with him. She didn’t even get a good look at him as they just awkwardly passed in the doorway and she is already swooning.

Man, between her and Officer Pouty there are going to be a lot of disappointed women on this show!

Also her interest in Godai makes Manager give one of the creepiest laughs ever… evidence that he is a Grongi just continues to pile up.

We slip over to the deuteragonist Ichijo as he and Sugita are chatting about how Ichijo is going to be transferred over to Tokyo full time to deal with the Grongi and I am honestly shocked that this hasn’t happened already. I mean we never see him do anything but work on Grongi cases and he never goes back to Nagano. Sugita worries that the transfer could have some negative repercussions though.

Ichijo assuages Sugita’s worries by letting him know that, of course, Ichijo doesn’t have a girlfriend. Not that he seems that broken up about it. Kind of strange for a charismatic guy like Ichijo to not have a girl huh Sugita? You’d think a detective might take that as a clue…

Sakurako is doing her usual listening to the radio while typing bit, what with her job being exceedingly boring. But after compiling a list of all the little phrases describing Kuuga’s revealed forms she announces to no one in particular that she is finished and that’s all the phrases. I think she’s supposed to be saying that there are definitely no more Kuuga forms but it kind of reads like she wasted a day making a powerpoint slide with four sentences on it. On that note, I’m going to take this opportunity to take a step back from the show.

See, as you may have noticed I call all of Kuuga’s forms in these Recaps by their colors, because that is what the show does. But now that we’ve confirmed that we’ve seen them all it’s a good time to note that in official materials all of his colors actually have names. White is Growing Form, Red is Mighty Form, Blue is Dragon Form, Green is Pegasus Form, and Purple is Titan Form. All his various attacks have names too and I won’t stretch this out any farther by getting into such things. I just thought it was a bit of trivia worth bringing up because it’s way more interesting than the next scene.

Sighing now, because Sakurako gets a call from Jean (who is loving the umeboshi by the way), and he reveals that he has a ‘cute assistant’ helping him with his rock research.

And yeah it’s Mika, so Jean and I have different definitions of ‘cute.’ Sakurako is rightly curious as to how a teenage girl with no formal training in… well anything is on the excavation team, and it seems like they let her help out because she’s whiny and they don’t want her complaining anymore. I am pretty sure she is providing no actual help to anyone.

While Godai and Kanzaki are both on their way to their student… teacher reunion meetup… man that’s a weird thing to even think about. Anyways, While on their way to it we cut to the Rhino Grongi ramming into a truck and denting it up using the magic of more terrible CG effects.

I am thinking that low quality special effects may be his unique Grongi power! Also he murders the truck driver because, you know, that’s kind of what Grongi do.

Back at police HQ Ichijo and Sugita recap that they got the chalkboard and a bracelet from their raid on the Grongi, and Sugita continues to be on the wrong foot this episode as he is doubtful that the devices that are pretty clearly designed for counting can be used for counting things. I mean, it’s beads on a line, things like that have been used to count things since humans could count.

Ichijo gets a call from his old perpetually whiny subordinate from Nagano, now named Kameyama. I had almost forgot about him since all he ever did was whine and never contributed anything to any plot except the time he watched the Trychaser instructional video. He calls to, naturally, whine about the news that Ichijo is being transferred. Ichijo calls him out on being whiny when, you know, SERIAL KILLER MONSTERS are on the loose, and then hangs up on him when Ichijo and Sugita get a report of the Rhino being spotted.

As a great little potshot at how useless Kameyama is we don’t even get the traditional shot a scene like this would have, which would be him looking miffed at getting hung up on. After Ichijo puts away the phone Kameyama isn’t in the episode anymore! Man, the show cares about him about as much as I do.

Godai gets the call from Ichijo on his police radio, and quickly changes course to intercept. But he isn’t about to just abandon Kanzaki and their meetup. No, Godai’s going to force Sakurako to make up for all those episodes she was the load for by roping her into going in his stead!

Two things that are great about this. One is that they have had a Grongi sighting, and Godai is taking time away from rushing to the scene, possibly resulting in civilian and police casualties, so he can bum a favor off a friend. The second is that as you may have noticed in these recaps, Godai doesn’t own a cell phone.

It’s come up a few times before, but it’s pretty obvious here just how much of a hassle it is that he doesn’t have one. And this is set in the year 2000! It’s not like they were exceedingly rare. In fact, all the police have one. Ichijo really should’ve snagged one to give to Godai if for nothing else than to be able to get in touch with him when he’s not hanging out at a friends or on his bike. I mean he gave Godai an experimental one of a kind super motorcycle, you’d think he could hop down to the Radio Shack and pick up him a cell.

We find the Grongi meeting up in public, and they talk a bit in their own language until the Rose Woman and the Bat show up, and then they switch to Japanese. In fact, the Rose Woman explicitly warns the Bat to stick to Japanese in public when he slips back into Gronginese.

I think the Rose Woman is a little misplaced on her priorities though. While I guess people speaking in unrecognizable foreign languages might raise suspicions, standing out in public while you discuss your murder plans where everyone can hear them is also kind of suspicious? Anyways, one of the Grongi asks if it was his turn to go, but he is told to wait and he’s kind of bummed about it.

It’s probably because the Rhino is going around and messing stuff up and the show kind of has implied the Grongi intentionally go on murder sprees one at a time. However the Rhino doesn’t seem to have a counting bracelet on, and he was kind of all yelling at the chalkboard earlier so perhaps there is dissension in the ranks? Also perhaps none of this makes any sense right now so I should move on from wild theories and I’m only kind of avoiding it because the next scene is boring?

Sakurako and Kanzaki end up on the same train but don’t know they are supposed to meet each other so they just look at each other and nothing happens. What a comedy of errors!

We find the Rhino Grongi surrounded by police, and he is just super angry, grunting and breathing heavy and what nots. He also cracks his knuckles with foley effects that sound nothing like knuckle crackings, just to keep up the bad special effects trend. After the police draw their guns he starts charging towards them, which is a pretty understandable response when you’re a bullet proof murder machine.

Rather than watch the fight though, we have to watch Ichijo and Godai racing to the scene as they just hear it over their radios, and… things don’t seem to be going well. Which is unsurprising but a rather effective way of ratcheting up the tension. We also get a shot of Sakurako and Kanzaki mixed in as the pair are still riding the train. But this time the same bombastic music that was underscoring the horrifying police slaughter is still looping in the background as they just sit there looking out windows which I find particularly humorous.

Ichijo arrives on the scene first and… yeah.

But one of the cops is somehow still clinging onto life! Almost Dead Cop manages to hold on just long enough to tell Ichijo the direction the Rhino ran off to before dying, which is some dang dedication right there. Seriously, Almost Dead Cop, you are the true hero of this episode.

I revise my analysis of Mikado going to dog heaven to note that as a police officer, he must’ve gone to police heaven where he and Almost Dead Cop partnered up for the angelic buddy cop series they both deserve. The show is called ‘On Cloud K9’, just in case you’re pirating cable from the afterlife and want to check it out… gets a little weak in the third season as a heads up.

Godai gets the information from Ichijo and races off in the direction of the Rhino who has now decided to terrorize a bunch of factory worker dudes who are near a truck. I mean they continue to make it explicit that he just hates the sound of trucks with a passion, but he usually doesn’t destroy the truck. He just murders the people who operate them. A bit of misplaced aggression maybe? I think the Rhino should seek some professional help, as all this murder doesn’t seem to make him any happier.

On the other hand he does lift a guy up by the throat using only one hand, and that is pretty awesome…

Let it never be said I don’t appreciate awesome things. Just before the Rhino can choke him out, Godai rolls up on the Trychaser and manages to knock the Rhino over while the standard fight theme picks up. It doesn’t manage to get going though, as the music immediately cuts out when the Rhino just walks up and punches Godai straight off his bike.

Godai attempts to Henshin, but the Rhino doesn’t give him the opportunity. He just keeps wailing on Godai with various grappling moves, as all the clinches keep him from doing the poses he needs to do to summon and activate his belt. It’s a pretty good fight, if unfortunately a little short. Because obviously rather than watch a wrestling match we certainly want to see more of Kanzaki and Sakurako traveling!

They both realize, without talking, that they are waiting on the same bus!

But like, it’s not coming for awhile so they just mull around at the train stop till Kanzaki goes to a nearby cafe to kill some time. Folks, this is a new low in padding for this series. We have cut away from a fight for our hero’s life to watch people wait for a bus. THRILLING ACTION!

Though there is a pretty great overblown reaction coming up. Kanzaki tells the lady in the cafe that if Godai doesn’t show up he is going to have to take drastic measures!

Seriously. Kanzaki you just happened to randomly stumble on that note today, from a student you taught 13 years ago in the sixth grade, and you are going to base your entire future on whether he shows up for this meeting or not. I am not being swayed from my original opinion of you being a not very good teacher, though now I’m wondering how in the world you ever inspired Godai if you’re such a flake?

But my wondering will have to wait for next week, because we get back to the good stuff as… well, the Rhino is still just smashing Godai all over this train switching yard. It’s pretty great.

Finally Godai is able to put some distance between the two when the Rhino slams through a wall on accident, and Godai Henshins into Red Kuuga. The Rhino only now seems to realize who he is up against and shifts to his own Grongi form to get ready for the fight. No points for guessing that the shift is accomplished with a pretty bad special effect!

The Rhino’s entire strategy now is just to ram into Kuuga with his horn, but considering he seems considerably stronger than Kuuga it’s a plan that seems to be working out for him. Kuuga keeps dodging and attempting to put the Rhino off balance, but the Rhino just keeps coming at him and knocking him around. At one point he even tosses Kuuga about thirty feet into the air straight into one of the nearby silos, getting the double duty damage of Kuuga getting hurt on the fall too.

Kuuga falls down a lot. I mean, not like tripping, it’s like… the Grasshopper threw him off a building, he fell off a tower while fighting the Bee… it’s kind of an ongoing theme here. And considering he has a form devoted entirely to super jumping and another devoted to heavy defense maybe he should figure a plan out for this in the future?

Anyways Kuuga is finally caught in an overhead grab that he can’t get out of, and the Rhino hurls Kuuga into the air so that he’ll come down straight on his nose spike! Which is a pretty awesome finishing move actually!

And it’s not even like this one is a cliffhanger, we hear the sound of Kuuga being impaled as he lets out a short cry of pain right before we hit the end credits!

So, Final Thoughts?

Ok, here’s the thing. Despite me whining about it this episode isn’t that much of a mixed bag, it’s actually pretty good.

So, it does have its faults. But honestly, bad special effects is something you kind of learn to love about Tokusatsu. Even if they’re silly I just find they have a charm to them. I can accept they’re doing the best they can with their budget, but this episode skimps a bit on the practical effects which are traditionally more entertaining.

And the only reason the Kanzaki and the Sakurako stuff is so boring is because it’s contrasted by such an action packed plot on the other side. The Rhino Grongi is a bit of a new breed of Kuuga villain. Unlike the previous Grongi who are more cold blooded, he is just an angry, yelling force of destruction. And though that means there’s not really any scenes of the police investigating him it does give him a primal primacy compared to some of the fights so far. He just has a different feel about him which marks this fight as a serious one in tone.

And there’s the fact that we get to see him and Godai fight for a considerable amount of time untransformed, which is a very nice change of pace.

Seriously though, I ragged on it but there’s a nice little mystery element in Kanzaki’s story right now, which actually is a good balance to all the action in the Rhino’s plot. Exactly what he did to inspire Godai, and why he has fallen so low now are both relatively entertaining mysteries. There’s a big contrast between where he and Godai have ended up after thirteen years and it’s curious that the super happy go lucky Godai would have such a sad sack for a mentor. Speaking of…

And now, on the next episode of Kamen Rider Kuuga!

Sakurako realizes who Kanzaki is… and OH MAN. OH MAN. Kuuga needs to upgrade his Jump Kick! KUUGA TRAINS AT JUMP KICKING! Godai’s old school is going to be demolished! Ichijo gets choked out by the Rhino! Kuuga does some sweet off-roading on the Trychaser! AND THE ORIGIN OF THE THUMBS UP IS REVEALED!

Tune in next week for one of my all time favorite Kuuga episodes! Kamen Rider Kuuga Episode 12: Impactful Teacher!

I’m so excited!

Kamen Rider is Copyright Toei Company, TV Asashi, and Bandai. The Subbed version recapped in this article was produced by the wonderful folks at TV-Nihon.