Dear readers, thank you for joining me once again as we dive into another exciting episode of Kamen Rider Kuuga!
We start off this week with a little internal recap of last weeks episode. Not using actual footage though, instead it’s us watching the police all scrambling together to figure out what is going on with the rocks that have formed into a vague beetle shape of their own free will, and honestly we get our first really clear look at it from one of the pictures Jean took.
Sugita, Ichijo and Enokida all are on scene to talk about how busy everythings going to be now that on top of the Grongi they have this weird UFO to deal with, and they all plan on having a busy day the next day. But Enokida knows that the next day is some vaguely important day for Ichijo! Oh no, could there be conflict coming? Not for Ichijo, who just peaces out to get back to work because he is all about the business of dealing with weird stuff, and business is booming.
After the opening credits Manager for the first time ever does something I can pretty much totally agree with. He chews Godai out for never doing any actual work, since Godai has been out skipping work again and only showed up at closing time.
That being said, he immediately lets Godai off the hook when our hero just apologizes, and I mean we know as the audience he spent all day cheering up a depressed hipster and fighting a rubber suited fish man but that doesn’t mean he shouldn’t at least come up with an excuse as to why he just skips work all the time. At least Nana has a good reason for not being there, as she’s in night school learning to be an actress. As soon as Godai settles down though a call from Sakurako comes in about the rock troubles, and Godai sneaks out while Manager is distracted naming actresses, because… I mean it’s not funny really as it is just a list of names, but nothing of Managers shtick is ever funny so I guess it’s a joke, maybe? It can be hard to tell with him.
Over at police headquarters the cops are getting to watch vacation slides of the UFO’s trip across Japan. This is about as entertaining as an actual vacation slideshow. We learn one fact from the whole thing, which is that the UFO can apparently eat metal and absorb it into itself as it seemingly takes on the colors and appearance of objects it’s been gobbling up on the way to Tokyo. Also this whole sequence revolves around really grainy photos in a dark room so you can see nothing of what they’re talking about.
Yup, you can really see how it’s color changed in that nearly all shadowed picture. The police are worried about it because at this point it would be more shocking if something showed up that wasn’t trying to murder everyone. They don’t really have a plan to deal with it other than keep an eye on it for the moment though, and after the meeting is called to a close we get a shot of it just flying around and glowing which doesn’t quite tell us anything new and is pretty unnecessary.
We do however get a short snippet of Ichijo calling someone to cancel a date, which Officer Pouty sees and is curious about. But we’ve got no time for that (really, I mean we spend less than half a minute on that scene), because we have to hit an even newer low in Sakurako uselessness.
Godai heads over to talk about the Rock Beetle with Sakurako to get her input on it. She pulls up some translation that is talking about horses and beetles and says she can’t figure it out, where Godai after leaning over her shoulder proceeds to translate it for her using her notes.
Sakurako seems pretty shocked about this, as I believe she is realizing that Godai is close to figuring out that she is really terrible at her job. All she does is run translation software and then sit around reading the results. So she has to quickly recover by claiming that Godai’s translation that the beetle will become ‘horse armor’ couldn’t possibly be right, though after laughing it off she is quick to agree to the idea for the time being. Godai really couldn’t care less that his friend has been useless, as he’s just pretty hyped at the idea of him getting some ‘horse armor’, which means he was the only person in the world who was happy with Oblivion DLC.
There’s a nice little transition from a closeup of the moon to an ashtray overflowing with cigarettes, which is the universal symbol for ‘police pulled an all nighter.’ This is of course despite the fact that no police officer in the show has smoked or will smoke in any of these scenes, which makes this little detail kind of odd in and of itself. Like some crazy chainsmoker just showed up in the middle of the night to burn through a few packs while the cops were working and then just left before morning.
On to the topic at hand though, Ichijo is using a marker to draw out the Rock Beetles flight path on a map and it seems to be heading right for… Pore Pore!
Now, I know the Rock Beetle can eat cars and water towers and stuff, but I’m pretty sure even it couldn’t stomach what I fear Managers curry must taste like.
Officer Pouty interrupts Ichijo’s fretting over his ‘partner’ Godai to try and give him a birthday present! Which is actually pretty nice even if it is obviously romantically inspired. And Ichijo actually doesn’t just spurn her advances, he completely declines even accepting the gift, which is super harsh! And of course, Officer Pouty completely misreads the situation.
Ichijo is really quick to squash that rumor as usual, and quick to tell Officer Pouty that it’s nothing wrong with her, and I feel like I’m really beating a dead horse on this one but how is it no one in this show is putting two and two together on which team Ichijo plays for?
Before things have a chance to get too awkward Sugita drags Ichijo off to deal with a Grongi sighting, and they call over to Sakurako’s office at the university since as usual they just assume Godai is hanging out there. And continuing her trend of uselessness, despite Sakurako having fallen asleep literally right next to the phone, Godai has to wake up on the other side of the room, run over, pick it up, and have a full conversation before Sakurako even cracks an eye open just to sleepily send him off to his murder fight.
We do get a closeup of the Rock Beetle after eating a healthy chunk of some industrial equipment, and it’s starting to look a bit more… Metal Beetle. It takes off and finds Godai as he races to the Grongi’s location, but it just kind of awkwardly hovers around him for a bit in a pretty dinky special effect where they mostly slide the image of it around the screen as buzzing noises play.
It freaks Godai out a bit and flies off, thus… fulfilling it’s Horse Armor duties I guess? Also, Godai seems to have no idea what it is, despite the fact that he has a.) Had numerous visions of flying beetles and b.) Knows that the Rock Beetle Jean had been transporting exploded out of a truck and is flying around. Godai is not super bright is what I’m getting at.
Catching up with the Grongi we learn that the Acid Trip Grongi is still all about Backing Up alerts, and is totally freaking elated that he is driving a truck with one. The Bat and Rose Woman show up to check up on him and the Bat chews him out a bit for using a Linto vehicle, which causes Acid Trip to slam on the horn and in a new low the Bat is knocked flat to the ground by just the sound of it. Which is of course pathetic even by the Bats standards. Also then Acid Trip gets out of the truck and sort of ‘laughs’ at the Bat, if by laughing you mean unhinging your jaw.
So the Bat is kind of the Sakurako of the Grongi side is what I’ve realized this week, as they always find new ways to hilariously dissapoint me.
Also Acid Trip transforms, and there’s no way I would be able to guess this without looking it up but he’s apparently a Hermit Crab Grongi!
I think I might be more afraid running into his Human form than his Grongi form, honestly. Since his Human form makes him look like a deranged psychopath, and his Grongi form kind of looks like a homeless cockroach.
Also, quick aside, anyone else put together that the Hermit Crab Grongi is like the polar opposite of the Rhino Grongi? I’d almost think it had to be intentional. I mean, he loves trucks and laughs all the time, as opposed to hating trucks and yelling all the time. Just a thought.
At the crime scene, the police find a pretty gruesome sight, tire tracks entirely made out of blood. Like, just smeared all over the ground in crisscrossing pattern.
Ichijo wonders how they know a Grongi did it, since, you know, vehicular manslaughter isn’t really their MO. Sugita notes that the witnesses of the attack saw the driver had a tattoo and was talking in a funny language, and I’m pretty sure that those kind of snap rushes to judgement where what got them wrapped up with Chono last week. I mean, clearly someone who would intentionally run over multiple people is a monster, but maybe they’re just the regular human foreigner kind of monster instead of the actual rubber suited kind.
Though we do get to hear Sugita refer to the incidents piling up as a double punch in English and I can say that for some reason I’ll never understand I find the line absolutely hilarious. Sugita also gets a call from his son Hazuki, and I find it interesting the show names characters we’ll never see on screen who have no importance to the plot but not some of it’s principal leads.
But just to squash my fun, back at police HQ Enokida names Officer Pouty for us!
Enokida is trying to cheer up Sasayama and does it in the entirely wrong way. Enokidas trying to make Sasayama feel better that Ichijo didn’t accept her present because he never accepts anyones birthday presents, because Ichijo’s father DIED ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He drowned saving people who were drowning in a river. Which is kind of a weird way for a police officer to go out, and really makes it surprising that Ichijo was like, totally fine with wrestling the Piranha Grongi in the river last week, but I guess that’s just how badass he is. Childhood trauma has nothing on Ichijo!
And more importantly, Ichijo apparently vowed at the age of 10 that he would never accept birthday presents for the rest of his life and became a police officer in honor of his father. That’s pretty hardcore stuff for a kid! Seriously, Ichijo remains totally awesome.
But as a sad note apparently Ichijo goes and visits his mother every year on his birthday. She can’t take off work as she’s a nurse, and while usually he can take off as a police officer (I guess… nurses are more in demand than cops in Japan?) obviously right now with the Grongi stuff he’s kind of tied up. So that’s kind of a bummer.
We get to meet his mom for a bit, who is actually super understanding about the whole thing. Like, she knows her son has an important job and she wouldn’t want him risking innocent lives just to visit her. Also we learn the source of Ichijo’s outbursts from before!
Though I guess Ichijo is a little bit more of an ass man than his father, considering the word choice that may totally be just translators preference but I will still make jokes about because I am shameless.
Godai shows up to the crime scene and he and Ichijo come to the startling conclusion that the Metal Beetle that was harassing Godai might be the same Metal Beetle the police are tracking. Brilliant deductions! Also Godai casually gives Sakurako the credit for figuring out the ‘horse armor’ thing even though she did nothing because he’s a nice guy.
Godai is pretty sure the beetle is a good guy because he just feels it man, like it’s got a good vibe! Ichijo is pretty quick to call that view naive, and honestly it’s hard to pick a side on this one. On one hand Godai’s vague suite of superpowers does seem to include some clairvoyance, but on the other hand half his power ups end up being dangerous to himself so it’s difficult to say just because it’s tied to him means it’s a good thing.
But before they have time to debate it further they get a report on the Hermit Crab Grongi going all Death Race 2000 again!
It’s actually a pretty creepy scene in its inevitability. There’s no room for the women he’s backing up towards to escape in the alley, so they just keep running back towards the inevitable wall they’ll not be able to climb. And just when it seems like they’re going to cut away as he hits the wall, they reveal that he has intentionally pinned them so that they are being merely crushed instead of outright smashed to pulp, which he can watch on his rear-view camera.
The last thing we see after they’re pinned is a close up of the tires as they kick into hard reverse, which is going to be a very tragic, and graphic end that is quite thankfully left off camera. Not because I’m squeamish to violence, but because honestly just having all the buildup to that is just about perfect horror setup for this kind of tension. Gore is unnecessary and would ruin the mood.
Back at the hospital, we find that Ichijo’s mom’s vision has gone blurry. And then she just straight up passes out!
Maybe Ichijo’s mom is just the ultimate guilt tripper. ‘Oh, you missed your fathers memorial just because you’re saving the world from serial killer monsters? Well that’s fine, I mean, I made it while still working as Head Nurse at a hospital and while violently ill but… you know… obviously your life is more important than mine.’
Back on the Grongi chase, this time Godai slides a switch on the Trychaser and it causes his custom colors to swirl out of it which man… I don’t even know what’s going on with that thing anymore as that isn’t even the silly way he used to activate that dumb feature. But in a fun little bit he drives the bike through the middle of crowded traffic and we get to see inside cars as they recognize him while he’s riding by.
Which does make some of them look like idiots. Since, I mean… how many other insect themed motorcycle riding superheroes does Tokyo have? Still, it does give us a pretty direct view of Kuuga being recognized publically as a hero, which is pretty nice!
Once he’s out of traffic the Metal Beetle shows up, and this time it splits up and surrounds Kuuga, only to snap onto the Trychaser and turn it into an honestly way cooler looking motorcycle!
Also, now that the Trychaser is officially a ‘horse’ I find it way cooler for reasons that likely make sense only to me. The new bike even chirps out a Shift Up in badly garbled English just to continue at being way more awesome in every way.
Though as one minor funny technical note the horns on the front have a little hard to see black bar connecting them for I’m sure balance purposes, as whatever material the prop is made out of is kind of soft and wobbly. I find it exceedingly hilarious in breaking the atmosphere whenever the angle makes it visible as it really makes the whole thing obviously a prop.
Because honestly otherwise that is one sweet ride. I mean look at it, it’s got sword horns jutting out the front! And the hardcore rock theme it brings with it agrees with me as it is just thrashing out in the background as he drives along showing off his kickass new wheels!
Pretty soon though the truck appears, and the Hermit Crab has apparently agreed with my earlier assessment as he is straight up looking nutso creepy in his Acid Trip form.
I would like to stress that he is neither engaged in a fight with Kuuga or attacking humans while making that face. That is his ‘I’m just driving around’ expression. Like, he’s in a vehicle that no one can see him in on an empty road, just swinging his head around wildly and making painful looking jaw twists for no reason.
But soon enough he has plenty of reason to get angry as Kuuga shows up behind him. And with a threatening note the Hermit Crab slams on the brake and kicks it into reverse while Kuuga guns the Trychaser at full speed, and the episode literally freeze frames less than a second before they collide!
It’s a hell of a cliffhanger!
So, Final Thoughts?
We finally get some action out of the rocks this week, and the shows a lot better for it. Honestly though, some hints about the ‘horse armor’ in the previous episodes would’ve been a nice slow buildup to what happened here. Though what did happen was pretty awesome.
I really, really dig the armored up version of the Trychaser. It just has a heavy look to it that makes it seem built for ramming, and the more beetle like trappings I think fit well with the characters design theme.
The actor who plays the human form of the Hermit Crab is totally nuts and works really well in the role. I can see why they have him spend more time untransformed while killing as he just has this crazy look that really makes it seem like he’s enjoying everything he’s doing but in this weird, dead eyed kind of way. Going with the truck is also a nice twist on the usual formula for the Grongi, and definitely continues the trend of them ‘evolving’ in their game. It also forms a nice little counterbalance to Kuuga as the Grongi are starting to incorporate modern tech while Kuuga brings up an ancient item.
The Ichijo plot so far hints to awesome parts of his character, but unfortunately doesn’t make use of him much. We see other characters talking about his past tragedy, and he isn’t even aware that his mother is sick, so it feels like odd window dressing as we honestly don’t get to see him react to any of it. Still, since that in some ways helps build up his stoic nature it does work in crafting the image of his tireless pursuit of justice.
The really odd missing link this week was Jean. After being so heavily tied up in the rock studies you’d think they’d at least have him pop up once to comment on what’s going on… just a weird exclusion.
But all in all it’s probably one of the better episodes of those without any kind of fight in them. The actual confrontation between Kuuga and the Grongi is only about a minute at the end and hasn’t even gotten started yet, but all the buildup does really put out a lot of hype for the next episode!
And now, on the next Episode of Kamen Rider Kuuga!
The Grongi vaguely talk about Metal Beetle! Godai brings in the armored Trychaser for scientific study! Blue Kuuga blows up the Hermit Crab! Ichijo learns his mom is sick! The Hermit Crab isn’t exploded after all! Sasayama thinks Ichijos a big ol’ jerk! And Truck versus Trychaser round 2: This time it’s personal!
Is Ichijo really a big ol’ meany pants? How many times will we get to see the Truck and Trychaser actually run into one another next week, and will it be as awesome as it seems like it should be? Find out next week on Kamen Rider Kuuga Episode 16: Belief!
Kamen Rider is Copyright Toei Company, TV Asashi, and Bandai. The Subbed version recapped in this article was produced by the wonderful folks at TV-Nihon.
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