Kamen Rider Agito Ep 13 – Police incompetence

Welcome back to my ongoing recap series for the second Heisei era Kamen Rider show, Kamen Rider Agito!

Picking up from last week all we get before the opening credits is the last bit of the fight between Agito and the Black Zebra Unknown, which does thankfully include the bit where Hojo gets punched out by Hikawa. We’re then reminded that this new interloper in the story Sawaki Tetsuya had almost written down his name as our leads while on his way to visit with the Evil Man.

And yes there’s absolutely no police presence at the hospital guarding the Evil Man. I’d like to remind you that the last time we saw the Evil Man he was in police custody for having confessed to murdering someone. Is it strange that I want to chalk up them just dumping him in a hospital up to the level of how competent I expect the police to act in Agito? Nah I’m sure he just used his magic powers to escape police custody or something. Dude has a bunch of random super powers after all right?

Once we’re into the episode proper we find Ozawa grilling Hikawa about his assault against Hojo. There’s apparently no official investigation going on into the incident but she declares that since they’re all on the same team it’s important that all the facts of the attack be put out so that there’s no question about what had happened. However as her questions go on it becomes more and more clear that she’s actually just super happy that someone punched Hojo, and she wants to hear all the details she can about the jackass getting what was coming to him.

She even gets wacky music while she’s happily contemplating permanent physical damage to one of her fellow policeman. Oh Ozawa, you are the best.

Meanwhile a random delivery driver is making the rounds while a super long stinger tipped tail stalks him. And yes that is exactly as silly looking as it sounds.

The tail finally manages to catch up to his back without him noticing, and despite jabbing him in the back of the neck he never actually reacts at all. Seriously I would believe maybe he would have thought it was a bug bite or something and at least swatted at it but look at the size of that needle! It just stabs into the back of his neck while he is talking with a guy. A guy who is, yes, looking at him, and neither of them notice it!

It turns out that stinger tail actually comes out of the head of, shock of shocks, a Scorpion Unknown!

It can grow and shrink and apparently fly around and chase people. I would also like to note that the Scorpion Unknown not only looks incredibly obviously like a Scorpion but also goes the extra mile to actually wear bracers that themselves have scorpions on them, just so you can be totally sure he’s a scorpion. Dude is clearly trying way to hard.

The man doesn’t die immediately though, he just has a giant bleeding zit on the back of his neck that he continues not to notice in any way shape or form while going about his deliveries. Oh the Scorpion Unknown may kill you… with embarrassment! He gets caught with one of those on a date and the girl (or guy) is not going to be calling him again!

Over at the Misugi Household the Professor is offering to, uncharecteristically, do something nice and buy a present for Mana. When his son even points out how weird it is the Professor notes that he’s only doing it because Mana’s 17th birthday is coming up which even she somehow forgot about. Well I guess I can forgive her what with stressing out over whether or not the guy who lives in her house may have murdered her father while having to deal with psychically assisting the police in solving crimes, but the real shocker here is that Professor Misugi actually cared about someone for once.

Thankfully Taichi is right there to be a total jerk to help make up for his dad’s lapse into being an actual decent human being, and Professor Misugi chastises Taichi by pinching his ear and dragging him near out of his seat, so with that ‘exerts violence against children’ bit going for him Professor Misugi is rounding his way back to unlikable quickly enough!

To be fair to Taichi I’m not disagreeing with his assessment on that one, doesn’t mean you have to say it when Shouichi is in the room though. That’s just kind of mean.

Mana says she doesn’t want any presents (which of course prompts Taichi to ask if he can have all her presents instead because he is a terrible, terrible kid), and even turns down Shouichi’s offer of a special birthday dinner because she’s just happy with everything how it is right now. Of course then she has to have a flashback to her dead dad where she used to ask him for a bunch of presents when she was a little kid so you know, tragic backstory creates maturity and all that.

At the police department Kouno is telling Hikawa it’s not that big a deal that he punched Hojo since it might straighten him out some, which is true, but he refers to Hojo as the kind of guy who should have gotten beaten more by his parents as a kid so Agito seems to be kind of falling on the pro-child violence spectrum of things. But then they’re finally on to talking about the Evil Man and surely his elaborate escape from police custody!

Oh no, actually the police did just stick him in the hospital. Without any oversight or guards. He’s an admitted murderer people! He confessed to the crime! But apparently just because he’s been silent since his confession that was enough for him to be declared insane. And not insane so he’d need a lawyer to bring up an insanity defense or anything. No apparently SO INSANE that he’s not even brought to trial and is instead put in a hospital. And it doesn’t even look like a specialized mental hospital, he just… gets his own room with free access to visitors in a regular old hospital.

Come on Agito police… this is just embarrassing.

Kouno gets a call from his girlfriend and invites Hikawa along to meet her, but on the way they run into Hojo in the hall. Hojo apologizes for his behavior and says he was the one who screwed up so it was fine that Hikawa hit him. And he wishes Hikawa good luck on operating the G3! Oh and they play super unsettling music and he has his giant crazy Hojo eyes the whole time!

Hikawa looks ready to just jump out of his skin the instant Hojo claps his hand down on his shoulder, like he is expecting Hojo to stick a shank in his side right after. From everything we’ve seen about Hojo so far this show of ‘respect’ is the clearest sign that he still has some plans up his sleeve and that we certainly haven’t seen the last of his meddling.

Kouno then introduces his ‘girlfriend’ to Hikawa.

Dude she’s not even 17 yet, that’s not cool!

Actually it turns out that Kouno is handling the case of her murdered father. And guess what Kouno, it is insanely not professional to make jokes about that kind of thing! Seriously you were like the cool old guy before and now you’re coming off like some super skeevy old man. And considering this case hasn’t had any traction at all I’m totally wondering whether you’re really giving the investigation it’s all.

This… this whole thing just makes me feel dirty. Also this scene includes a little reminder that when Agito was made there was a statute of limitations on murder in Japan, which is just the most bonkers thing ever. Seriously, if you killed someone and just… you know hid for long enough you couldn’t be arrested for it.

Anyway, there’s no new evidence but now Hikawa is interested and going to be getting the facts from Kouno, but I’m happy to leave the skeevy guy behind to see what Shouichi is up to.

In case that image wasn’t clear, Shouichi is sticking his pinkie finger in fishes mouths at the market.

Okay so never mind let’s go back to Kouno and Hikawa!

Kouno takes Hikawa to the scene of the crime while going over the facts of the case. Basically they got new clues at the crime scene and his method of murder was suspicious. He died without external wounds but his organs were torn to shreds. While Hikawa points out that matches up to an Unknown murder method Kouno reminds him the murder was two years prior, long before the Unknown showed up. But he does say they have a lead on a suspect he’s been checking out.

And after a brief interlude where Shouichi stumbles on a flier for a homemade cake class (while talking about needing to do something special for Mana, how plot convenient!) Kouno and Hikawa go to check out the lead. It turns out Mana’s dad was a frequent guest at a cafe… and the day of the murder he was… With someone!

Just wanted to note I really dig the way they do the flashback scene. They use camera cuts and angles to obscure the face of who he was talking with while they’re having an argument, and I really think the above shot where they blend color and black and white in one mix is pretty dang cool.

Kouno however has no lead on who this man he was arguing with was, even though his being in a fight with Mana’s dad right before his murder is a pretty good lead.

Over at the cake making class Shouichi meets up with a bunch of middle aged women who are fawning over him since he’s a young strapping man, asking him about whether he has a girlfriend and the like, and Shouichi naturally has to completely destroy the atmosphere.

Seriously Shouichi, leave the comedy to the professionals. And by professionals I mean hobbyists who really love Kamen Rider and write weekly blogs about it. So… not professionals really. Also side note I don’t even speak Japanese but that seems like a pretty good pun, stop being so hard on him middle aged women geez! Dude is trying to lighten up the mood and make some tasty stuff.

Hey remember that delivery driver who got stabbed, it’s been about a day now, let’s check in on him.

So it’s one of those ‘wait a day and then suddenly instantly trigger and act’ poisons that only exist in TV shows. Dudes hands turn black and he chokes out and dies. But what’s kind of weird is they cut to the Scorpion in the middle of the whole thing and he like flashes his eyes so is it some kind of intelligent poison he has to activate or does he just… know it takes like a day to kick in? And seriously delivery driver dude it’s been like a day and you didn’t take a shower or whatever and notice that giant wound on the back of your neck and go to a hospital? C’mon man.

Kouno and Hikawa go to check out Mana’s dads house which has been abandoned since his murder two years ago, which is kind of weird. You would think someone might want to buy it? And they run into Mana there reminiscing about her dad. Also seriously the place still has the potted plants he kept and they’re all withered and dead that’s… that’s kind of weird right? Like I guess the place was paid off by the family and they’re just holding onto it? I don’t know, it just feels really odd.

Mana has some more flashbacks done with some nice editing where like ghost versions of her kid self run past her and stuff until she finally comes to a beam support in the house and notices an odd crack in it. And Hikawa immediately grabs an old book and starts wailing on the column. Dude if you’re in a derelict house and see a cracked support beam you should not be hitting it with stuff!

Well luckily for him instead of the house collapsing on them because he was stupidly smacking around a support beam it turns out Mana’s dad had put a hidden box in the beam… which is kind of a weird place to hide stuff… and inside there was a video tape and a black ball. Oooh spooky!

Also two Kouno has been investigating this case for 2 years and Mana is an honest for real psychic and it takes Hikawa of all people to get a lead in this case? Come on. Hikawa gets a call about the Unknown victim being found but first we have to check in on the Evil Man and Tetsuya.

Okay first off the Evil Man is folding up paper boats, which is… weird but whatever he’s all vague and weird but secondly HE IS TALKING. Seriously police you don’t even have someone watching the guy who is pretending to be a mute to see if he actually is a mute? He’s having a full conversation right out with Tetsuya! Ugh, come on Agito police. You are… you are just so terrible at your jobs.

The conversation is necessarily cryptic, while the Evil Man talks about riding boats to the end of the world and Tetsuya just talks about wanting to have access to all knowledge. You know, standard vague villain stuff.

But hey, enough about the vagueries of bad guy speech, what about the Unknown murder method? Poison or something right?

He had black hands! BLACK HANDS! That… That is not old age! You don’t age into having black hands! Plus that isn’t really a thing. Like… like you could say ‘his heart gave out on him but, gasp it was the heart of an 80 year old man’ but you can’t just… just die of ‘old age.’ And they haven’t even done an autopsy on him, they just dragged him out of the scene. Seriously Agito police, you are just being the absolute worst this week. I mean they even note that there were two other deaths recently with the same symptoms and this guy was related to them and they didn’t have anyone checking on this guy? They know that’s how the Unknown work! You… you guys are just awful.

However with all the blood relatives dead there’s no predicting who the Scorpion Unknown will be after next… dun dun dunnn!

Oh no he’s after Shouichi and Mana! Also Oh no Shouichi is legit trying to argue that he should put some cabbage in the cake he’s making for Mana!

The Scorpion sends it’s stinger out only for Shouichi to sense it’s presence and deflect it, but it’s clearly targeting Mana. Well I mean she is a psychic so that kind of thing was bound to happen at some point right?

Shouichi sends her off running while he Henshin’s to Agito for the fight scene! Also G3 gets dispatched but isn’t going to make it in time to do anything because, again, the police are pretty terrible in this episode.

The fight scene is… not bad. Agito goes to his sword form pretty quick and there’s a fun bit where they have to intentionally kind of pause in place so that they’re in the same pose before and after his transformation.

It’s a real ‘Smile for the camera’ kind of look! Also there’s a bit where the Scorpion’s axe flies around like a boomerang for some reason. It’s just… a weird attack that proves to be completely ineffectual anyways?

But finally the two face off for a last run at one another while Mana looks on from the distance, but just before they clash in one of the most baller moments I’ve ever seen the Scorpion’s shield FALLS FROM THE SKY into his hand and blocks Agito’s sword. But not you know, like a shield would. No it… just… like magically projects an invisible barrier… or something?

Like… sparks fly off of it? I don’t know. But the Scorpion was pretty sweet on the whole thing. ‘Believe Yourself’ is just rocking in the background and Agito is mid jumping slash when the Scorpion summons his shield and the music instantly cuts out like it ain’t no thing. Oh and again, the Scorpion Unknown remains all about branding when even his big shield has a scorpion on it. Dude, we get it… you’re a scorpion. Chill.

The Scorpion then proceeds to wrap his head tail around Agito’s neck while he’s distracted trying to fight off the invisible barrier. It doesn’t take but a moment for the Scorpion to sting our hero in the throat, before adding insult to injury by smashing him in the head with his axe.

Okay so the head tail seems pretty useful and I can dig the magic shield but it kind of feels like the Scorpion just threw the last bit in because the boomerang axe wasn’t getting any love and he wanted to at least do something useful with it.

Mana runs over to Shouichi when he loses his Henshin, and the Scorpion looms over the now helpless girl while her protector lies poisoned on the ground. Which seems like a perfectly ominous cliffhanger to wrap up on!

So, Final Thoughts?

This is another one of those episodes that when I casually watched it didn’t irritate me as much as when I watched it more critically for my write up. Honestly the police are just… sometimes really irritating on this show. They really come off like a bunch of unprofessional clods at every turn. I mean Ozawa is taking joy in a fellow officer being beat up, Hojo was being a jerk enough to warrant being beat up, Kouno was creeping on an underage girl and talking about how people should beat their kids… it’s a sad day when Hikawa is about the only police officer I can say was worth anything this time around.

The comic relief stuff with the cooking class is fine, I like how it ties into Mana’s more serious investigation into her father’s murder and I really like how it feels a lot less like she’s hunting for revenge and more like she’s hunting for closure on her emotions. Over all all the flashback stuff in this episode is done well in fleshing out the history of this case and we’ve picked up just enough new clues and information for it to feel like it was a good use of our time.

The end fight was a bit rushed, to be honest. It didn’t have much room to breathe but that happens a lot with the fights in Agito. The Unknown by and large don’t have much in the way of personality or emotions and are mostly just obstacles to get through. But the Scorpion is one of the first where his special skill really is going to be impacting the story, and while we’ve seen Agito fail before having him poisoned is a much more dramatic note to hang on for the next episode.

And speaking of that thing I just mentioned…

And now, on the next Kamen Rider Agito!

Shouichi only has 24 hours to live! Hojo has some secret proposal for the police brass! And if Agito is going to die, he’s going to go out doing something awesome by MOTORCYCLE SURFING!

Will Agito die from the poison, an attack from the Scorpion, or from just doing something as crazy awesome stupid as MOTORCYCLE SURFING!? We’ll all have to find out together next week in Kamen Rider Agito Episode 14: The Strongest Kick!

Kamen Rider is Copyright Toei Company, TV Asashi, and Bandai. The Subbed version recapped in this article was produced by the wonderful folks at TV-Nihon.