Japanese Spider-Man Episode 11 Recap – A Bridge Too Far

Welcome back readers to my midweek recap series, chronicling the insanity that is the legendary Toei series Japanese Spider-Man! Or, Supaidāman, if you’re feeling phonetic.

This week starts off with a title card that really pumps up for a hell of a show ahead. Seriously, the name of this episode is Professor Monster’s Ultra Poison Assassination. This episode is promising us Ultra Poison people! Let’s see if it lives up to the hype!

Okay a little kid walking across a wood bridge. Not… not exactly the thrilling start I was hoping for.

Japanese Spider-Man Episode 10 Recap – Snake, Rattle and Roll

Welcome back readers to my midweek recap series, chronicling the insanity that is the legendary Toei series Japanese Spider-Man! Or, Supaidāman, if you’re feeling phonetic.

This weeks episode kicks off at the secluded Kitazawa meteor research lab sitting on Mt. Hakuja. It’s a dark and stormy night and three toughs in Hawaiian shirts decide they’re too scared of the fog to risk the dangerous mountain drive, so they opt to break into the place to hold up for the night. So they’re oddly safety conscious burglars. They’re further prompted to complete their B and E when they learn the house houses a lone beautiful woman, who they decide to force their amorous advances upon, as toughs are wont to do.

But the moment they try to grab onto her she turns back and transforms into… a Snake Woman!

Or a Walrus woman maybe. Oh wait actually that isn’t the full of her transformation, it’s not even her final form!

I have to wonder why the heck they gave the actress super long teeth in the middle transformation step only for her to, you know, NOT have giant teeth in her Machine Bem form? Come on, that should have taken like just a minute to check with the prop department! Also after just recapping an episode of Agito with a very brand conscious Scorpion Kaijin I have to say I jumped the gun since Snake Woman here is all about letting you know how much of a Snake she is. Not only does she have a snake face and individual Snake Medusa style hair, but her left hand is a whole separate snake all its own!

The Snake Woman then lightly shoves the three men to the ground as they do nothing to resist her, which of course means they’re all dead. And after dumping their bodies back in their car she props the gas and launches it off a nearby cliff to condemn the toughs to a fiery death while she grins over the title card.

Two things here. One is that Japanese Spider-Man continues to deliver the greatest episode titles known to man. And two is that perhaps ‘the Tears of the Snake Woman’ is an odd phrase to put over a picture of a woman who is obviously clearly enjoying how good she is at murdering some dudes.

Japanese Spider-Man Episode 9 Recap – All You Need is Love

Welcome back readers to my new recap series, chronicling the insanity that is the legendary Toei series Japanese Spider-Man! Or, Supaidāman, if you’re feeling phonetic. A simple white on blue title screen gives us this episodes name “The Animate Accessory is the Beetle Spy of Love.” I’m going to go ahead and spoil things for you by letting you know that that title will shockingly prove to be accurate.

The episode proper actually kicks off with Professor Monster showing off the ‘Blue Diamond’ to Amazoness. It’s so rare a gem that it is the only gem of it’s kind in the entire world. How did Professor Monster acquire this impossibly rare gem? Eh that’s not important. What is important is that if he jams this gem into a little slot in his latest Machine Bem, Kabuton, then it will have be able to shoot a laser beam ‘100 times stronger than normal.’

Not really sure what having a super strong laser beam has to do with being invincible but hey I’m not the person with the degree in monsters here. Professor Monster declares that Kabuton’s beam will be strong enough to actually punch a hole in Leopardon, and demonstrates it by having Kabuton blow up some steel plate that Amazonesses hand laser gun couldn’t damage. Which since we’ve never seen Amazoness ever actually shoot her ray gun tells us absolutely nothing about how strong his laser actually is.

Japanese Spider-Man Episode 8 Recap – Can’t Hug Every Cat

Welcome back readers to my new recap series, chronicling the insanity that is the legendary Toei series Japanese Spider-Man! Or, Supaidāman, if you’re feeling phonetic.

Well considering last weeks episode dealt with an evil cyborg rock band utilizing Pavlovian conditioning techniques to defeat Spider-Man it’s probably going to be rough for this weeks episode to stack up in the insanity department right? Well you might say that if not for this episode starting with a crew of Ninders digging up a cat grave!

 And not just any cat grave but a cursed cat grave! Surprisingly it doesn’t seem like Professor Monster is going to be the recipient of said curse despite sending a crew of stooges to defile the grave. Also somewhat surprisingly Professor Monster is in the business of looking for cursed objects? Somehow that doesn’t seem like it fits in with his usual bio-mechanical plans.

Japanese Spider-Man Ep 7 Recap – SPIDER-MAN BOOGIE!

Welcome back readers to my new recap series, chronicling the insanity that is the legendary Toei series Japanese Spider-Man! Or, Supaidāman, if you’re feeling phonetic.

We’re wasting no time this week as the episode starts straight away with the title card “The Ferocious Hit Song! Sing and Dance to the Killer Rock.” And unlike a lot of episodes where the title doesn’t make sense until about halfway through the episode (or just straight up never makes any sense at all) this time around we’re going to be starting things right off with said ‘Ferocious Hit Song’! But first let’s meet our rock star!

Yes this is what a rock star looks like. He’s Kobayashi Kotaru, along with his band the BB Five (who only have four members not counting him but they never count him in the BB Five so… who knows what’s up with that). The band also all wear San Francisco 49ers shirts for no reason that the show ever even bothers to hint at let alone establish. But who cares when you can listen to their song after the jump? And I implore you to. Really I do. If you have ever had any trust in me dear readers I ask you to believe me when this song will change your life.

Japanese Spider-Man Ep 6 Recap – Poor Robocular

Welcome back readers to my new recap series, chronicling the insanity that is the legendary Toei series Japanese Spider-Man! Or, Supaidāman, if you’re feeling phonetic.

This week finds us starting out with a trio of random dudes running through the forest, fleeing some unknown danger. They are scared enough to climb through muck and mire while trying to navigate the dense forest so whatever they’re running from must be pretty rough. But soon they actually come across a number of oddly quaint traps designed to catch them. I mean dangerous yes but seriously it’s like spears and spike traps and stuff swing out from the trees to get them.

Which makes it all the weirder when the Ninders and Professor Monster’s Female Assistant burst out of the woods behind them on a jeep with machine guns hunting them. I mean seriously the Iron Cross Army’s tech levels are all over the place usually but having to rely on sharpened sticks when you clearly have machine guns?

Well it turns out the Iron Cross Army are hunting these men apparently for sport, and after killing two they chase the third to a cliff where he (after temporarily transforming into a dummy) leaps off to avoid their gunfire and leads us to the opening title!

I’ve said it before show but I think it bears repeating, when your villain’s name is ‘Professor Monster’ the evil bit is kind of already implied.

Japanese Spider-Man Ep 5 Recap – Keep On Truckin’

Welcome back readers to my new recap series, chronicling the insanity that is the legendary Toei series Japanese Spider-Man! Or, Supaidāman, if you’re feeling phonetic.

There’s no time to waste as this particular episode hits the ground running! Some Ninders along with a Machine Bem roll up in a truck and break into a military compound, killing some guards and stealing a cache of missiles, making their getaway all in less than a minute.

They even do us the service of slapping the title card right over the action itself! Which is nice because it gives a nice tableau of missile theft and dead corpses that have absolutely nothing to do with the words in the title. Stay ridiculous Japanese Spider-Man!

Japanese Spider-Man joins the Spider-Verse!

Hey I promised I’d bring you guys something good and MAN DID IT JUST SMACK ME IN THE FACE!

Japanese Spider-Man has officially crossed into the Spider-Verse crossover series! The short version, for those of you who don’t follow comics, is that they’re doing a big event where all the Spider-Men (and Women) from different universes are all teaming up for one big event. And in issue 12 they just brought in the best Spider-Man of all time!

The full scans of his introduction and the story are here.

Not only does he come riding in on Leopardon, but he introduces himself as The Emissary From Hell! Man… what a great day!

Japanese Spider-Man Ep 4 Recap – Don’t Go Chasing Waterfalls

Welcome back readers to my new recap series, chronicling the insanity that is the legendary Toei series Japanese Spider-Man! Or, Supaidāman, if you’re feeling phonetic.

Unlike the last few episodes where the title flashed over the action, this weeks title card is like the one from episode 1 where it’s just white text on a blue background. But what a title it is! “The Deadly Mer-Man! The Silver Thread of Miracles.” Now that’s a title that promises insanity and excitement in equal measure so let’s see if the show lives up to it!

Well the episode proper begins with Professor Monster ordering the Iron Cross Army to create a program to assassinate Spider-Man. Which leads to the gloriously ridiculous scene of Ninders in lab coats operating reel to reel computers via punch cards as they input all the data that Professor Monster has collected on Spider-Man and Garia.

So yes in terms of complete insanity the show is well off the deep end already and we’re going to only have more fun falling further!

Japanese Spider-Man Ep 3 Recap – Circus of Crime

Welcome back readers to my new recap series, chronicling the insanity that is the legendary Toei series Japanese Spider-Man! Or, Supaidāman, if you’re feeling phonetic.

We’re finally through all the setup with the first two episodes out of the way, and Spider-Man is now an established hero. But this week we’re going to be starting off by watching a different wall crawler. And I do mean crawler, as we watch a guy descend the side of a wall on a rope silently at an agonizingly slow pace before all of a sudden the title smacks us in the face.

Guys I’m going to guess that’s Phantom Thief 001. Call it a hunch.